


Boytoys, Boyfriends and Superheroes

by amlago



Series: Mad geniuses and fluffy tigers [4]
Category: Calvin & Hobbes, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 08:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7501026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amlago/pseuds/amlago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Coulson can imagine how the public would react if Stark suddenly announced that he had his own harem, that consists of the Avengers. A small smile forms before he can suppress it. It would almost be worth it just so he could see how Fury would react. Clint gives him a look that tells him that the archer knows exactly what he's thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It all started because Pepper was away. Tony didn't really want to go to the charity gala, but couldn't say no since it was an important event. So, since Pepper was away and he refused to go alone he decided to take Calvin with him. Not that Calvin was interested in going; it took a lot of begging and finally bribery to get him to accept. But his weight in gummy bear, except the yellow ones because he didn't like those, was too much for even Calvin to say no to. And after agreeing to the deal he didn't even mind when Tony dragged him on a buying spree to find the perfect suit. Well, he didn't mind too much. At least he got to choose the tie. It had small fishes on it, and as soon as he was back in his lab he put it as a bandana round Hobbes head.

The gala itself started just as boring as Tony had anticipated it would be. He did his best to shake all the hands he needed to shake and smile at all the right persons. At least the champagne was acceptable. Calvin had disappeared from his side after around ten minutes, and made his way around the room in search of at least some entertainment. He was back before Tony had become overly worried, carrying a very pink drink. It was almost offensive in its pinkness.

"I'm not gonna dance with you," is the first that comes out of Calvin's mouth.

"I'll have you know that I'm an excellent dancer." Tony decides not to pout, but it's a close thing.

They look at each other for a moment and then both smiles. Tony is cackling on the inside with glee, this was one of the best ideas he's had in a while. After a couple of minutes Calvin grows bored again and wanders off. Tony wishes that it was as easy for him to move through the crowd, but he needs to make nice with all the important people and all those who just think they're important. He also wishes that he could drink something stronger than champagne, but refrains. When he next spots his friend he can't help feeling a little smug over the pleading look Calvin sends him. A debutant has latched on to him and doesn't seem to understand that Calvin has no interest in her. Not even when he looks slightly I'll when she presses her not so modest assets against his arm. Luckily Tony sweeps in before the younger man ends up doing something drastic. He had just managed to drag Calvin away with an arm around his shoulder when they're cornered by a journalist.

"Mr Stark, would you tell me who your friend is?"

"Calvin is my plus one this evening."

"And Calvin how would you describe your relationship with Mr Stark," she quickly continues.

"I don't like putting labels on things like that," Calvin tells her while drinking his pink drink.

Tony is well aware that by that Calvin means I have no idea what you're asking, so I'm saying something that sounds good. He's also well aware that the journalist takes it completely different. The billionaire can't help the smirk that forms on his lips, this will be good.

"Really. And how do you feel about Miss Potts?"

"Everybody likes Pepper."

"Can you tell me how it is that you're Mr Stark's date this evening?"

"Bribery," Tony can't help the snort that escapes when Calvin says that with a straight face and decides that it might be a good idea to stop the rest of the questions.

"And that's a wrap. If you would excuse us," he quickly tugs Calvin along towards the buffet table.

The last thing the journalist hears is Calvin asking how long before they can go home.

The fallout comes three days later when the papers have big headlines about Tony Stark's new boytoy. There are even a couple of pictures of them standing close together, with Tony smiling widely at the younger man. Luckily there's no real information about who Calvin really is, just a lot of speculations especially about Peppers role in their relationship. Tony only becomes aware of the articles when Jarvis tells him about them. And is more interested in finishing his work, though he makes Jarvis put them up so he can glance at them. Calvin only becomes aware of their existence when Pepper comes back from her trip and immediately goes down to his floor. After giving him a hug and asking if he's alright she needs to first explain why she asked and ends up giving him the different articles so he can read them.

"Huh, I have a skeeteresc article about me," Calvin says slightly dazed. "I need to frame this, this is great. Apparently I have a clandestine love life. Or we have, I'm not sure. And I bribe Tony with sex. Huh, that's not right. Tony bribed me, not the other way around. Should I contact them and ask them to fix it?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea. Just let it be and it will blow over," Pepper tells him amused. "What did Tony end up bribing you with?"

"Gummy bears, lots and lots of them. Here," he gives her a necklace where a gummy bear hangs.

Pepper takes it gingerly, but is surprised that the bear is hard. Curious she holds it closer so she can inspect it.

"I crystalize it. I've already sent a pair of earrings over to Suzie."

"It's very nice," she tells him, and strangely enough it is. Pepper is certain that there's a market for these kind of jewelry. "Would it be possible to do the same to other kind of candy?"

"Sure, well it depends of what kind of candy you mean. But it shouldn't be too hard."

Pepper gives him a last hug before going back to her work, taking the necklace with her. The next time Calvin has his scheduled phone call home to his parents he tells them all about his new title as boy toy. Luckily for his parents, they've been used to his kind of calls and the only thing his mother tells him is that he should invite his friend over for Christmas. Calvin gleefully sends a message over to Tony as soon as he hangs up and then ignores the frantic reply as he works on his inventions. It takes a few days before the two of them meets up again, which happens to be when the Avengers come back after a meeting at SHIELD.

"Christmas! I can't believe your mother invited me for Christmas."

"I told her that my new title was boy toy and she asked me to invite you home so they could meet you."

"I can't meet your parents!  I don't meet parents, that are not something I do."

"We could go sledding, there's a great hill for that close to the house."

"We have to be at least boyfriend for meeting parents."

It's clear for the rest of the Avengers, and everyone else in the vicinity that they're not really listening to each other, or perhaps more correctly are holding two different dialogues.

"I prefer partners in crime," Calvin says, making Tony shut up.

"Why would you do this to me?" Tony asks after a moment. "Parents don't like me."

"They liked Suzie."

Tony isn't certain if he should be offended or flattered by this comparison.

"Fine, but you're coming to Malibu with us in three days."

"Ok," Calvin gives him a happy grin before he disappears towards the elevators.

"Does this mean that congratulation is in order," Clint finally asks. "I mean you have a new boyfriend, sorry, partner and everything."

"I'm so taking Pepper with me as a buffer this Christmas."

"Yeah, that will go well with your in laws."

"Congratulation Tony, Calvin is a fine young man," only Bruce can say a thing like that, BT Tony can see that he's laughing on the inside.

"It's because you say things like that, that you weren't invited to the gala."

Steve is the only one who looks disapproving. Natasha has the same expression she always has around Calvin, the one that says that she's trying to figure him out, and Thor is back home visiting the other realm.

"Miss Pott is a swell dame."

"Eh, yes she is," Tony isn't certain where Steve is going with this but as long as he says things like that he can agree.

"What does she thinks about the Calvin situation?"

"I have no idea. She just laughed and kept laughing until she had to go to a meeting. I think she hugged him though."

"She hugged him."

"Look captain, Pepper doesn't need anybody fighting her battles for her, especially when there's no battle to fight. And I'm not even certain what you think is going on with Calvin."

Steve sighs, but nods his head. He'll wait until he's got more information before saying anything else.


	2. Chapter 2

Coulson is not a happy person. He'd hoped that he would have time to work on some of all his paperwork; instead he's going to be babysitting the Avengers plus Calvin and Hobbes. Not that he was certain that Hobbes needed to be watched, but the way Calvin behaved around the stuffed tiger made him suspicious. Just to be on the safe side he had classified Hobbes as an unknown entity, probably benign or at least lawful chaotic.

So here he was in the lobby of stark tower, waiting for the rest of them to show up. At least all of them were on time he thinks as the takes in the group. Steve was still used to the military way and had just his backpack with him. Bruce, used to running away also had a backpack, but it was at least a newer one than before. Natasha had a small suitcase, probably because her research had showed her that female used those. Clint had both a backpack and a bag for his bows and arrows that he refused to leave behind. Tony had a medium sized suitcase, most likely since he already had stuff in Malibu and therefore didn't need to bring that much with him. And Calvin had a backpack with Hobbes sticking out of and a wooden crate. Phil can almost feel a headache coming when he sees the crate. He does not want to know what's in it. Whatever it is, it will be something bad. The best thing he can do is ignore it and hope it won't be that bad.

The journey to the plane goes smoothly, the three scientists talk about something no one else can follow and the others are content in just watching the scenery. As soon as the plane is in the air Calvin dramatically points at Bruce.

"Bruce! I challenge you on a game of spank the monkey!"

"Uhm, ok. I haven't played that before, I need to read the rules first."

"Sure, no problem." Calvin opens the backpack and first removes Hobbes and places him in a seat of his own. He then takes out the game and opens it. "You're not allowed to turn green if you lose, nobody likes a sore loser."

He gives the rules to Bruce who starts reading them with Tony hanging over his shoulder. Steve looks slightly horrified over the fact that a game can be called something like that, while Clint looks intrigued.

"Well, I'm in," Clint says when Calvin waives the box at him. "Any game called spank the monkey must be great. Tasha?"

"I have some rapports to finish."

The four of them therefore play the game by themselves, with much snickering from Clint and Tony. Steve can't help but watch and snags the rules to read. It's close, but Clint is the winner.

"So, my dear boyfriend."

"Boytoy," Calvin interrupts.

"Partner. Any other games?"

"I've got Munchkins Avenge Us."

"Really? Sweet," Clint says as he shuffles the cards.

Calvin pulls it out of his backpack and gives Steve a questioned look.

"I've never played that. I'll watch this time."

Steve isn't sure what to think of the game. It's like nothing he's ever seen before, and a lot of the cards are absurd.

"Ha! The final monster," Tony gloats and picks the card. "And it is... paparazzi. Level 3 monster, which means that if neither of you do something I'm the winner."

"You're wearing sunglasses, which mean they're level 5."

"Fine, level 5 but I still beat them."

"Not so fast," Calvin mutters. "They've got cheerleaders," he puts the card down."

"That's some cheerleaders," Clint muses as he looks at the card.

"Ok, but that's only level 15 together."

"Not when they all hulk out," Calvin says smugly and puts down another card.

"What! Wait, no, nononono. Dammit, I can't beat 30."

"Which means that you go down 2 levels and loses either a piece of clothing or armor," Bruce lifts the cards to read everything. "And apparently you also get to feel the shame over the fact that they see you without the piece of clothing or armor. The cheerleaders also steal one of your treasures."

"Fine," Tony sighs.

They play for a while longer until it's Bruce turns.

"Space rabbits, level 12."

"And not only that," Clint exclaims. "They're horny space rabbits." He slaps the card down.

"Horny helmet, plus 6 to the side it's played at. Is that Loki’s helmet?" Tony wonders.

"Well, in that case I must repay the favor," Bruce lays down another card and pushes them over to Clint.

"Oh, c'mon." Clint glares at the card. "Even if I could win you would get all the treasures."

Bruce just gives him a serene smile.

"Unless someone helps me I'm out."

Apparently Bruce is a sneaky player and he ends up the winner of the game. There's not that much time before they land, so Tony decides to actually answer some of his mail. Clint bugs Natasha, who ignores him and Calvin and Bruce starts talking. Steve looks through the cards in the game, fascinated by the fact that someone made a game based on the Avengers.

Luckily the flight is over before one of the geniuses has time to get bored, and the car ride is also short enough to stop that any mishaps to happen. Tony spends the ride to point out the sights and saying stuff like, there's where I passed out one time or there you can still see some marks from when I crashed that one time. Clint's favorite is when Tony points at some sand and tells them that there is the place where he catches on fire. Calvin looks intrigued and asks if it was spontaneous or if he'd had help. Bruce is visibly amused and Steve looks faintly horrified. The three SHIELD agents just take it in stride, even though Clint finds the whole thing entertaining.

When they finally arrived Tony grabs Calvin and says he will bunk with him, and that the others were free to find an available room.

"Of course, Bruce if you want to join you're always welcome," Tony says with a wink as he drags the younger man into a room and closes the door after them.

Bruce looks torn, as he knows the other two will engage in what's probably interesting scientific debate, but on the other hand he's quite curious about the house and wants to check it out. Habits from being on the run for so long has him automatically seeking out where all the exits are, and even though he knows he's safe he still feels the need to look for them. Habits win out and, after he puts his bag in one of the rooms, he goes wandering through the house.

The others also find rooms where they can sleep, Clint and Natasha decides to share one. Both because it's more secure in an unknown place and they both sleep better with someone watching their back. The first time Tony walking in and found them sleeping curled up against each other he told them it was one of the most terrifying and adorable thing he ever seen. Steve had just blushed a lot and mumbled something about fondue.

It takes less than an hour to find everyone gathering in the living room. Tony is as expected behind the bar, mixing drinks for the others. For some strange reason Hobbes is sitting on the bar with an open can of tune before him. Calvin is draped sideways over one of the armchairs, with a large glass of something that seems to be mostly fruits on his stomach. He gives Bruce a dopey smile.

"Tony has magic fingers."

Tony snorts but doesn't say anything to contradict that statement.

"That's nice," Bruce glances over at Tony before leaning over and whisper loud enough for everyone to hear him. "I'm confident that I can give him a run for his money if you're interested."

Tony splutters, offended by the very idea.

"I'll have you know that I'm famous for my magic fingers. Pepper swears by them."

"This is why you're not allowed out without supervision," Coulson tells them.

"I don't think I can feel my feet," is all that Calvin has to say about it, to blissed out to care, not that he would have cared either way.

"Hey, Calvin," Clint says, figuring that now is the perfect time to ask questions. "How did you end up with Hobbes?"

The rest of the Avengers are also interested in the answer, so they quiet down.

"Well, it's not like it's a secret or anything. My dad brought him home after a conference. I don't know where it was, but apparently he wandered into Chinatown and found this strange shop. And he exchanged some chocolate he bought for my mum for Hobbes. He signed a contract and everything," he can see that the others want to know more and tries to remember. "I think the owner was some kind of royal?"

"Count," Hobbes says.

"Yeah, a count. And I'm not sure he was Chinese," he glances over at Hobbes who shrugs; tigers doesn't really care where people is from.

"Do you know what he was called?" Coulson asks.

"Uhm, some kind of letter I think." He pops a grape into his mouth. "But since my dad also told me that they bought me at Walmart, I'm not sure how much of it is true."

Clint decides he needs a drink; perhaps it will help him understand Calvin's type of insanity better. At the bar he glances over at the stuffed tiger. He's pretty sure that the tuna can was full just a minute ago, and not half empty like it is now. Hopefully the double shot will help him forget that thought.

Luckily it doesn't take long before the three scientist’s starts to discuss something that goes over the head of the others. Calvin sits up properly so he can make gestures while explaining something that seems to involve sound effects. If he hadn't seen this before, Clint would have thought that the three geniuses were talking about different things. Clint glances over at Natasha and sees that she's as amused as him. He might not understand what they're talking about, but the way they do it is like some kind of strange foreign movie. Highly entertaining but completely incomprehensive. He doesn't even notice that Coulson disappeared until he reenters the room carrying bags of food. Both Steve and Natasha helps him put everything on the table, but Clint can't tear his eyes away.

"It's like that time I was in Finland and there was this movie. I understand as much of this as I did that."

"I wonder if Thor would be able to understand them with the Allspeak," Phil muses as he gives the other a plate.

Clint snorts in amusement; it would be hilarious if science talk proved to be a real language.

After they've prodded the scientists to eat, or rather waived food in their direction until they noticed, it was getting late and most of them started to make noises about going to bed.

"You better have something to sleep in, because I have no desire to see you naked," Calvin tells Tony as he stands up and stretches.

Tony gives him a pout. "But snuggle bunny, we're boyfriends."

"I thought we were boytoy and, eh, sugar daddy? If I'm the boytoy would that make you the sugar daddy, or is there another terminology I should use?"

"I think you can only be called boytoy if I pay for you, or gigolo I suppose."

"You did pay me to go to that party, and I don't think I pay any rent to live in the tower, do I pay any rent?"

"No, which is fine." Tony assures him. "My friends don't have to pay rent."

Calvin thinks about that for a moment, and the rest can see when he suddenly has a thought.

"So, that means that I'm not the only boytoy, or girltoy", he glances over to Natasha, "that you have. Does this mean that you have you own harem?"

"Yes, that exactly what it means," Tony says smugly. "I should have my PR make an announcement about this."

Even Coulson can imagine how the public would react if Stark suddenly announced that he had his own harem, that consists of the Avengers. A small smile forms before he can suppress it. It would almost be worth it just so he could see how Fury would react. Clint gives him a look that tells him that the archer knows exactly what he's thinking.

Before the dialogue can become even stranger Calvin grabs both Hobbes and Tony and drags them to their room. He ignores Tony's protest as the genius tries to convince him that they should go to the lab instead.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony's bed is big, you can easily fit five persons in it, and they don't even need to snuggle with each other if they don't want to. It's therefore quite surprising that he wakes up with Calvin snuggled up against him, especially since they went to sleep on opposite side of the bed. Not that he has anything against waking up snuggling with the blond; he's just sort of hesitant over how he should react. Tony is also aware of the fact that while he and Calvin were taking up a small part of the bed, Hobbes had the rest. He lazily calculated that the soft toy had almost as much space in bed as a real tiger would. Tony decided to ignore that and instead turned his focus on the warm body next to him.

Calvin always smelled like some kind of candy, it varied depending on which mood he was in but even now when he was sleeping he smelled like candy. Tony figured that was one of the reasons so many underestimated him. A sleepy grumble makes Tony smirk, Calvin sounds so displeased over the fact that he's waking up.

"Did you know that you smell like those hard candies that looks like fruit when you're sleeping?"

Calvin doesn't answer and instead just crawls over the other so he can get out of the bed. He keeps a firm grip on the pillow and manages to smack Tony in the face with it, much to his satisfaction. If he was forced to wake up this early he would make sure the others suffered. He ignores the spluttering and glances over at Hobbes, who's still sleeping. Calvin really wants to wake him up, but some lessons sticks, like the one about what happens if you wake up a tiger from its nap. So, finally, he decides against it, no matter how amusing it would be.

They're not the first ones up; Steve seems to have been up awhile already. Calvin narrows his eyes as he takes in the super soldier, yes it appears that Steve has been out for a run.

"Morning!" Steve says with, what both Calvin and Tony thinks, a suspiciously chipper voice.

"Captain my captain; it's too early for you to be this awake."

"Stark, it's over ten."

"Exactly!"

Calvin ignores them since he found cereals, and not the boring kind. Steve looks at the colorful breakfast and grimaces.

"I hope that you're aware that those are pure sugar."

Calvin looks up from his bowl.

"How else am I supposed to wake up?"

The super soldier just sighs and grabs an apple for himself, they've had this discussion before and he's not in the mood of hearing all the outlandish arguments again. The lack of sugar filled cereals was not the reason the dinosaurs died out, no matter what Calvin said. And Barney wasn't proof that dinosaurs needed sugar to survive.

After breakfast they all somehow migrate to the living room again. Calvin disappears into his and Tony's bedroom for a moment before he also joins them.

"You're all probably wondering why I've gathered you all here today," Calvin says, ignoring the way Tony starts snickering.

"I wasn't aware that there had been a murder," Clint whispers to Natasha, who elbows him in response. But she can't suppress a small smile when the archer just grunts and then mutters something about betting it was the butler who did it.

Calvin ignores them or doesn't notice, busy with taking out a strange looking gun.

"Tadaa! I give you the teaser. Well, the prototype of it at least."

"Nice," Tony tells him as he's making grabby hands at it. He curiously checks it over as Calvin continues to explain.

"As I was saying, this is a prototype. There are still some things to work out. But most of the kinks are gone," he snatches the gun back before Tony can pry it open.

"I was under the impression that you didn't do weapons," Coulson asks.

"Well, I came up with this after Tony told me how you threatened him with a Taser. This is much more annoying."

"Hey!" Tony protests.

"Annoying," Coulson repeats.

"Yep. Clint, you don't mind being my unpaid helper, right?" He continues before Clint has a chance to answer. "Good. So, if you just stand over there we can get this show on the road."

"There won't be any slime right?" The archer asks as he goes to stand by the wall.

Coulson sometimes wonders over the other agent, you don't agree to be the test subject for a crazy scientist, no matter what he or she wants you to test.

"Nooo, do you want it to be? I can probably make something if you give me an hour or so."

Coulson can see that he's thinking of saying yes, just so he can see what Calvin will make. He therefore sends the archer a look that clearly states that there will be no slime.

"No, that's alright," Clint slumps slightly.

Oh, OK. So, at the moment there are two settings. Just sound and impact." He does something with the weapon, and it goes from looking like some kind of black futuristic gun to looking like some kind of black, sparkly futuristic gun that hums.

"Wait, just how safe is that thing?" Coulson didn't want to risk anything blowing up.

"Well, it should be safe. I fixed it after the whole code blue, or rather my new minion pointed out some flaws that could make it go bang. But it’s fine now."

"Code blue?"

"Yeah, it was horrible. I lost one of my minions and everything smelled like blueberries for over a week."

Coulson tries to make sense of what Calvin is saying, but doesn't manage. It's a feeling he's become used to since meeting Stark and the others in his tower.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Steve says.

"I'm still not used to it; I keep sending him e-mails, expecting him to answer." Calvin tells them mournfully.

"Ah, that reminds me," Bruce says. "He asked me to tell you that you should stop doing that, except for the cat-memes apparently he likes those."

"OK, I'm confused," Steve tells the room at large.

Bruce sighs.

"Apparently there was some kind of mishaps making everything blue."

"It was glorious, a whole room full of smurfs or wee free men."

"Ah, well, yes," Bruce fiddles with his glasses as he tries to suppress a smile. "Afterwards one of Calvin's minions apparently thought it would be safer working with me and swapped places with one of my assistants."

"Why haven't I heard anything about this?" Tony asks. "Jarvis, please tell me that you have footage from this blue alert."

"Of course, sir. Would you like to view it now?"

"Naw, let's wait until after Calvin has showed us how his new invention works."

"Very well."

"As I was explaining, at the moment the teaser only has two settings. The first is only sound," he does something and the sound of someone blowing a raspberry is heard, followed by a chicken clucking. "And the second is sound and the special bullets."

He quickly aims at Clint and the sound of someone blowing a raspberry is heard as at the same time Clint is hit on the chest with a pellet filled with something that smells slightly fruity. First nothing happens, but then the archer twitches. The other two scientists look on with interest, while the others are more worried.

"So the first one imitates the phenomenon when you get a small muscle spasm, like a tick under your eye for example. While the second," he shoots Clint again, this time the weapon makes a clucking sound. "Well, you know when your feet fall asleep and then the crawling sensation, it's like that. You have a muscle or limb goes numb for a minute or two and then wakes up again."

He then quickly shoots Clint two times more in the leg, once with each type of bullet.

"Whoa!" Clint falls over and scowls at Calvin. "That's freaky."

"What exactly is it that you have in those bullets?" Phil asks, slightly worried.

"Uh, well it's something I've invented. It's something similar of a neurotoxic."

Tony starts cackling in glee at the horrified look Clint gets.

"You shot him with a neurotoxic?" Steve asks, hopeful that he heard that wrong.

"Similar, not the same thing."

"How would you like to be shot with your bullets?" Natasha says as she takes the weapon from him.

"Oh, relax. I'm sure he's tested it on himself already," Tony says and refuses to flinch when she turns the weapon at him.

"And my minions," Calvin says helpfully, or not so helpfully since Steve gives him a look. Calvin is very familiar with that type of looks and hurries to explain further. "Don't worry; they've signed the papers and everything so they know what they can expect."

"I don't think that's helpful," Bruce tells him.

"Jarvis, please tell me that this is patent," Tony ignores the rest as he goes over the information that Calvin gives him. "Otherwise do it now."

Bruce makes an intrigued noise and soon the two of them are huddled together.

"So, you want to explain what a code blue is?" Clint asks before they lose Calvin to science babble.

Calvin gives him a surprised look before breaking out in a big smile.

"Sure," he agrees. "Jarvis, can you do the show and tell?"

"Certainly."

The room dims, which makes Tony and Bruce stop talking. The sudden projector and screen surprises no one, but they all quickly takes seats so they can see.

"That's the cafeteria on the tenth floor," Tony says when the video starts.

"How do you know that?" Steve can't help to ask.

"Because they all look different from each other," before he can continue Natasha gives him a look that tells him to shut up.

It appears to be lunchtime in the video, since the cafeteria is almost full with people. Suddenly there's a loud bang, and the workers proves themselves to be working for Stark Industries since most of them looks towards the explosion instead of taking cower. Therefore most of the people in the room is turned blue, or at least get splashed with the color.

"Warning, this is a code blue," Jarvis voice can be heard on the video.

The Avengers watches as a multiple different reactions takes place, some are hurrying out of the room, probably so they can wash the color of. Others just continue to eat their lunches as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened, while some are taking of their clothes.

"Is that person licking his arm?" Clint asks and points.

"Yes, it appears so. He's probably trying to figure out if the color is poisonous or not." Coulson can't say that he thinks that it's a good way to figure out if a substances is poisonous or not, especially since the man is already cowered in it.

Suddenly one young man hops onto a table, holding his spoon in one hand.

"They can tak' oour lives but they canna tak' oour troousers!" He yells, while the person next to him his banging his head on the table.

"The one that's having some kind of breakdown is the minion that Bruce got," Calvin says.

"With breakdown do you mean the one trying to give himself a concussion or the one that's badly quoting Braveheart" Clint wonders.

"He's not quoting Braveheart; he's quoting the wee free men. And it's the one banging the table that felt that it would be less stressful in Bruce lab."

"Since the one on the table seems to have the same fondness as you for the work of Pratchett, I assume that he is now working for you," Coulson asks.

"Oh, you recognize Pratchett! I'm finally starting to corrupt you." Calvin holds out his hand for a high five, which is ignored. "Yes, he's my new minion."

"That's fine and all that, what I want to know is what exploded." Tony exclaims.

"It was the frozen yoghurt maker. Someone did something with it, or something like that." Calvin pouts. "I actually missed it; it was when I was infiltrating the Baxter building."

"It's not infiltration if you’re invited for a visit."

"Sure it is, I was sneaky and everything."

"You hummed the theme song for mission impossible the whole time you were there, and stole all their toilet paper," Tony tells him.

"I also turned the Thing green," Calvin protest.

Clint snickers at the memory of seeing the Thing green for a whole week.

"That was awesome."

The rest of the day they spend just relaxing and recovering from their hectic lifestyle. The day after is the same, but Coulson can see that they're getting antsy. No one of them are used to doing nothing, which is why he doesn't protest when Calvin on the third day suggest they play a game.


	4. Chapter 4

Calvinball apparently just have one rule. And that is that the game isn't the same two times in a row. The rest of the Avengers looked on as Calvin more or less emptied the crate the brought with him. It seems like he anticipated this.

"The first rule about Calvinball is," Calvin starts.

"We don't talk about Calvinball!" Calvin, Clint and Tony shouts.

Steve just looks on confused as the three continues to shout about how they can't talk about Calvinball. Natasha smirks and tells him that it's from a movie, while Bruce helps with putting out different stuff.

"Those are really large water balloons," Clint tries to lift one of them and manages with some struggle.

"Yeah, I've tried to make them hulk proofed," Calvin glances over to Bruce. "So you should feel free to let the green giant out."

"Ah, yes, well. I don't really think that would be a good idea."

Even though he wants to, Calvin doesn't contradict him. Instead he pulls out the helmet from the crate and puts Hobbes in it.

"Hobbes can keep score," he tells the rest.

"That's hardly fair," Tony complains. "You're clearly his favorite."

"Well, since I have no interest in playing this game, perhaps I can keep the scores," Coulson suggest.

"You can't you don't know the rules," Calvin tells him seriously.

"Who cares!" Clint shouts, bouncing a ball on his knee. "Let's start this thing!" He kicks the ball towards Natasha, who steps aside.

It quickly turns into chaos after that, with the Avengers regressing to a more childlike state. Even Steve can't help but to run around trying to win.

"Ah, you've stepped into the song zone," he tells Calvin.

"OK, what must I do?"

Steve flounders for a moment. "You must sing a famous song."

Calvin, it turns out, has a rather pleasant voice. Even when he sings about being a Barbie girl. And while Steve's never heard the song before, he can tell that the others have.

Clint spends five minutes talking like a pirate, and Natasha does the funny walk. Bruce proves to be rather good at walking and talking backwards. Steve and Tony have a duel with toy lightsabers, while the rest of them do the sound effects.

After an hour they're starting to become rather hot and tired, so Calvin takes a swan dive onto the water balloons, splashing everyone with water. It's decided that the games finished after that and they more or less just lays down where they stand.

That evening they have Chinese and afterwards Calvin somehow convinces them to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show. To everyone’s surprise it seems that Natasha is a fan of the movie and she and Calvin sings along and does the moves together.

"What? One of my marks had a thing for this movie," she tells them when they ask. "He went to saw it once a week, so I had to see it five times before the mission was over. It grows on you after a while." She gives Clint a smirk. "Besides, it's not many men who can work that outfit as well as Tim Curry."

"You can come with next time me and Bucky goes and see it," Calvin tells her.

Coulson winces as he thinks of all the chaos that can come from that, but Natasha agrees before he can say anything.

They return to New York the next day and Coulson accepts the teaser gun, if nothing else he can use it to keep the agents on their toes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both games exist. But while there is a Supermunchkins, there isn't one that's only about the Avengers.  
> The shops where Hobbes was bought is either the one from Pet shop of Horrors (manga or anime), or the first Gremilns movie. But i've always felt that this is the same shop.


End file.
